Saturday, June 8, 2013

Why married women should not seek employment?



Today the world is a much better place for many women than it was before even a decade or two ago.  The girl child is born into a world with equal legal rights.  Her social position has been acknowledged the world over by society at large, and all that she needs is a bit of effort to carve out a niche for herself.  Given basic education, she can find herself a job enough to maintain herself that guarantees that her children have at least two meals a day, even if her husband does not play the role model of the provider. Acknowledging that there is a sizable female population whose state is nowhere as secure as these previous sentences define, let me, at least for the sake of making my point, concentrate on the portion of female society who are born into such circumstances.

In most urban societies, the above is true.  the girl child is educated, she is allowed to look for employment, and bring in financial income.  The crux of the matter lies here - the financial income she brings in most often does not mean financial independence.  Largely because the young woman is never given independence, financial or otherwise, before marriage and in many cases even after marriage.

In India, most marriages are still arranged.  Even if the young couple may have fallen in love. the marriage is given social respectability when it is agreed to and arranged by elders and conducted in the presence of family, friends and relatives.  This means that marriages, at large, still remains within the frame of the old social set up that defines the roles of the husband and the wife.

As per this concept, the husband is the bread earner, and thus the main policy  maker, and the woman the home maker.  With the increasing number of women bringing in income decisions are being shared as are responsibilities, but there are some avenues that most men do not step into = the home making one, i.e cooking, keeping house, and looking after the children. This means the financial independence that the woman has earned has come with a price that she is struggling to pay.

The schedule of most women begin early in the morning starting with making tea, breakfast and lunch, getting the children ready for school and herself ready for office.  By the time this is all finished you have a harassed woman that runs to her office, gasping for breath, and perform as good as or better than her male colleagues, who come for work in a better state of relaxation.

The situation is the same in the evenings when she returns from work.  Husband, children, cooking and cleaning and the same is repeated on weekends.  Many men do help and the stress is on help, because the burden is still on the women.  Most working married women who cant afford servants suffer from stress and hypertension.  They do not have time for any sort of pasttime leading to a sort of life that most women do not enjoy.  They are forced to relish in the belief that they are living their life for their family albeit at the cost of their own time, idolising themselves as the woman of the family.

They make crucial decisions but so do other housewives who play important roles in their family unlike in the dark days.  Yes they are financially independent unlike their housewife counterparts.  But their individual pleasures are sacrificed, creativity locked up in the cupboard, and the need for expression stiffled.

No matter how important she may be for the public, if she cant afford servants, then the woman is in a more difficult situation than her unemployed counterparts.

This is leading many women to  think - If you can afford it sit at home. Why seek employment?

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